“Shut up and start shitting”
This article focuses on two adverts produced by S.C. Johnson [A family company!] of their Glade Touch and Fresh range. When it comes to around the home, it has to be mummy and daddy, but when it’s time to show the toilet incarnation it has to involve a little boy who is shitting or about to. It’s ok for little boys to shit on daytime television; I have no doubt if it was a little girl there would be national uproar. And shifted past the watershed.
The first advert of a little boy shitting is an Asian kid, with a Latino-looking mother. The kid is mid-shit and suddenly realises his shit stinks. He must reach for the Glade to save his nasal passages! This is revealed to be impossible as it is empty… Someone had the nerve to know it had run out, take the spent refill out and leave the case empty stuck to the wall, teasing the next toilet user. At the end of the advert you’ll see it’s a moot point, because it’s too far away from the toilet to even use at that point, and too high up the wall for the kid to use [without jumping]
How high?!
What really pisses me off is how much this advert has evolved, the first version called the Glade thing a toy, “Good thing mum’s got that toy to make it smell better”, how that got past Ofcom without raising a flag is beyond me. It was then changed from “toy” to “thingy”, most likely removed altogether because kids still believed they could have fun spraying aerosols at close range.
Massive bathroom, the mammoth height of the Touch and Fresh displayed once again
“Mummy” arrives, hearing the kids thought tracking somehow and asks the kid what’s wrong, “It’s all gone!” he exclaims. “What’s gone?” she asks back. Shortly after a nice sketch of an empty Glade case [With the word “empty” in case she still didn’t get it], where did all this stationary come from? Early versions showed nothing, recent incarnations have displayed the floor covered with pens and a colouring book, perfect bathroom activities.
Sniff the felt tip pens or something!
This raises a question about the kid, the door is shown to be a short distance from the toilet, and at the beginning and end of the advert the kid still appears to be shitting. The only logical explanation is that he waddled with a shit-stained arse to the door to deliver the message and maybe unlock the door, waddle back and carry on shitting as mother combats the aromatic terror. They share a happy moment together as she uses the freshly replaced Touch and Fresh and looks at him: The Happy Shitter.
Probably got his mum to wipe his arse after he was done. If he ever managed to finish.
The second involves another little boy who wants a shit and feels the need to inform his mother. But then lays the information he wants to have a shit at his friend Paul’s house. Mum tells him to cut the bullshit and sit his arse on the toilet in their house, but he storms off, saying he’s going to shit at Paul’s house. This is all explained by the fact that Paul has a Glade toy in his toilet to play with and cover excrement smells with lavender or whatever. This is an outright display of defiance and the kid should be pimpsmacked so he knows his place. However it could also be a cry for help, maybe he’s being abused to the point where he has to run off to a friend’s house for a shit just to get out his home for a few minutes.
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