Adverts That Blow 4: The Adios Effect Vs Activia: Which is Waiter-Friendly?

Adverts That Blow 4: The Adios Effect Vs Activia: Which is Waiter-Friendly?

I think the company behind Activia saw my previous entry and held a meeting, on how to piss me off even further. Danone, if that was your intention, then you’ve succeeded. I say this because your latest advert builds upon my already raging annoyance.

A woman in a restaurant complains in her head, looking at herself in a mirror, however am I going to eat when I’m feeling this bloated!? Answer: Don’t. I have little doubt you’ll offend your dinner companions, as the majority of them will probably be women and naturally know exactly what you’re going through. And it’s probably your fault for filling up on bread in the first place.

Just in case you didn't notice she's feeling bloated, the hand-on-the-stomach technique is employed once again.

Of course the only solution to do this is to, once again, improve your shitting schedule by eating Activia [Note: I know I said the Adverts That Blow series wouldn’t always be about shitting, and I apologise for bringing excrement up again. You can blame Danone for making me do this.] That’s right, you’re feeling so bloated you can’t eat, so what do you do? Eat… Alarm bells are ringing here. Of course their unique “culture” which seems to change names each time it’s advertised, [Bifidus-Digestivum, Bifidobacterium Lactis, Bifiduc-Regularis, which then Digivolved into Bifidus-Actiregularis] is the only solution to ail this problem. Apparently these bacteria’s come from cows, so I’ve read.

She should’ve listened to her friend apparently. Or risk feeling like a “Ballooned Bellied…” I think she says ‘Recluse’ but I’m not certain. Or Raccoon It’s something altogether bad because she feels so fat, so try Activia! Note to her, the top doesn’t help.

It's a possibility she wore this top because she didn't want something figure hugging lest it enhanced her mental bloated pain, either way she hasn't done herself any favours.

What this seems to do as a result, apart from making her feel more attractive in a way that only diarrhea can. It also comes with the added effect of looking in a mirror and saying “Note to self: *looking good*”, and despite feeling more skinny she almost knocks some no-doubt quality food from a waiter’s tray.

Look forward while you're walking you daft bitch.

If I'm ever wearing a hat when I see this advert, I would take it off to him.

Only the man’s agile reflexes are able to save the well prepared consumables from this self involved bint who was too busy looking in a mirror and complimenting herself because she had some fucking yoghurt.

Next up, Adios, another aid to slimming. I really should find another angle of adverts to start attacking… However, Adios, in this 19 second shot advert have one tight shot of this broad’s arse after another. My theory is that they are showing you the grand master of the entire formula: Your arse. This is where the magic happens. The true star of aids to slimming when it all comes crashing out like a torn pack of Smarties. Times are included to show I’m not taking the piss.

In the few seconds between these arse shots, I can assure you other things are visable. Just so it makes a little more sense, it appears like she’s dancing to Disco Inferno.

The only saving grace behind this is that she’s not that bad looking. And this is just me talking here, but I would rather have aids to slimming that resulted in attractive girls dancing in the streets not wearing much than vane bitches almost assaulting catering staff. What do you think? Answers on a postcard please.



Thanks to visit4info.com and tellyads.com for the adverts.